I have been a stay at home mother for a total of 2 days now, and I am already a little frustrated. Day 1 was perfect. Benji and I read books, played outside, I got some cleaning done, and even had dinner ready for Albert. Day 2 was going pretty good. We woke up, had breakfast then went to the pool Benji's swim lessons. After that I had to run to the post office do deliver a package to Albert's Brother. That is where my troubles began. Benji was running everywhere, threw a fit, and even ran out the door into the parking lot. I knew Benji was a very active kid, but I've never seen him act out like that before.
So here is my question to all the mothers out there.......How do you run errands while controlling your children's behavior?
I believe in spanking, as long as it is controlled and with love, however, I do not spank in public. Am I right in doing this? I highly doubt that even if I did give Benji a good spanking he would have acted much better. So I want to know what other moms do to discipline effectively.
Needless to say I am a little down trodden. The general thought running through my head is, if I cant even control one kid, how am I going to handle 2 next week, and 3 in August when we get Gabby? Any advice will help!
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7 comments:
We I nannied or babysat I had anywhere from 2-12 kids at a time. I've taken as many as 8 with me on errands. What almost always worked for me was to lay the law down before we even walked out the door. I let them know where we were going, that I had to get this done, there would be no running, yelling, their hands would be kept to themselves, etc. I would tell them why it was important to act nicely around others. I would tell them what the punishment would be if they didn't (like a toy, no candy, no soccer, etc). if they started to act up while we were out, all it usually took was a look & be reminding them "Ok, no watching TV."
I'm not saying it will always work. It just did for me. But like anything, there are good days & bad. I'm sure you'll find exactly what works for you. You're an awsome mom!!
Welcome to my world. First of all, I avoid these type of situations if I can. If I have to go somewhere, I ususally am left with bribery. "You want this sucker, then you have to be good." Etc. Keep them busy with what you can. Snacks, books, toys, etc. They are hyper active little people and need constant stimulation. Katy Beth is right, consequence is the best action. Teach him the consequences of his behavior.
Good luck!!
HAHA...oh the joys of motherhood! Well first off, it doesn't help that you are almost 9 months preggo and trying to keep up with your very energetic almost 3 year-old...not to say that once you have that baby it'll be easy...because then you'll either be hauling a baby in arms, or a carseat...and then chasing Benji! It's not easy any way you slice it. I agree with you...I don't spank in public, but I threaten and bribe. Bribery works sometimes, however, sometimes you just have to walk out calmly dragging the child along with you. It's very embarassing, but the better you can keep your cool while trying your best to keep your child under control, the better you'll look! I've never wanted to be "that parent" that everyone can hear yelling at their child in the store. You can get the point across in a quieter and more tactful way! Recently it's bothered Brielle if I tell her that she'll make mommy cry if she does something I don't want her to do. For some reason, she doesn't want mommy to cry and will straighten up quickly! It's a lot of trial and error...every kid has his or her own personality...some things that work on some children, won't work on others! GOOD LUCK and keep me posted on your progress!
I usually just tether my kids with a leash to some random pole outside of wherever I am running errands. Or if I can't find a pole, I leave Calvin in charge. Most of the time they are still there when I come out. Kidding! :) The 3 strikes game works for us. You can either give a reward or threaten with a punishment. I find my kids do better if I promise something to do, like stop by the park, go see some friends, stay up for 15 extra minutes, etc.
I have found that letting them know what is expected from the start works really well-like Katy Beth said. I give them one chance then make them stay close-hold on the to the cart, hold my hand, etc. The first couple of times they cried for a minute, people looked at me like I was aweful, and then everything was fine. Having consequences lined up means that you are in control-of yourself and the situation. Decide what you want/what works for you, and then follow through. It will get better-he's testing you right now to see what YOU will let him get away with.
It's all about good old fashioned bribery and time out when merited. We quit spanking with Abigail...didn't work. Time out is WAY effective if you do it like Super Nanny teaches.
And, KB is right on with laying down the law before hand and everyone is also right on with offering a reward for good behavior...we always got a candy bar at the store with my mom if we were good.
And, then there is always the total avoidance technique...wait for Saturday or late at night to run the errands alone. All during law school I would have a Sat night date with myself to Wal-Mart....didn't keep me totally sane, but it really helped...especially when I added in a milkshake.
Talk to me sometime about time out, I will give you all the tricks of the trade.
Oh man, katina. This is tough. I agree with Katie. Tie him to something.
Don't go anywhere without him strapped in a stroller or cart. Or hamster ball.
I give 'em suckers (dum dums). They can keep having them as long as they're quiet and follow the rules. When they run off or scream, poke the meat or eat the cheese, the suckers are gone.
Run your errands first thing in the morning. Most of the time they're cranky or wild because they're hungry, tired, or bored.
Don't you love this? We all have good stuff to share. I love it.
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